hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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