i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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