i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
be there in ten.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest