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wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
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