Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"