why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
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no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
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I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.