is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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