Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
