My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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