Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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