AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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