to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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