Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
