Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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