who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
