I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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