The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
All the doctor said was why
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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