You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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