i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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