you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
