but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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