the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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