idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
