I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
