Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This baby is an asshole
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize