Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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