I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I am midnight drunk by noon
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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