I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
