Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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