Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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