Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize