Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
