I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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