We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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