I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
