You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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