so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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