Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
there was a trapeze. enough said
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I am naked and annoyed.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
