how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
