he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
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I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
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the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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