thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
