Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
