I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
