I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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