a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
This is classic penis vs brain.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
