his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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