I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Be still, my beating vagina.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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