this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
