that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
