so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
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Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
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I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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