I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
