Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
