I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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