Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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