just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
