Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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