i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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