I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
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