Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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