He asked to "fluff my boner.."
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
