well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
