so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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