Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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