Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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