During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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