This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
